The baskets and eggs are hidden, my belly is full of chocolate peanut butter eggs that I ransacked from the Easter Bunny, and the clock shows it’s only minutes away from officially being Easter Sunday. It’s been a week since I’ve written last – and there is a part of me that finds that extremely frustrating – but a bigger part of me is stepping back, recognizing that I had other responsibilities come up this week, and kindly forgiving myself for any unmet goals. And it feels … peaceful. No angst. No negative self-talk. Just the same sympathy and compassion that I would offer to any other person but that we so rarely offer to ourselves.
My littlest guy, who will be two next month, has pneumonia. But due to him having no cough, we sat through three clingy days of 103+ degree fevers before bringing him in. Luckily the doctor on call ordered a chest X-Ray and was able to diagnose what was going on. So, Wednesday night to the present, I spent pretty much all of my time with a feverish, lethargic little boy clasped next to me – and if I see one more episode of Octonauts right now, I might really freaking lose it. My husband (he’s on spring break) was great about keeping up with the house and entertaining our almost four-year-old, but Silas’s demands were such that I caught myself eating dinner at 9pm – if at all – and even the most basic of self-care has been horribly absent.
I could totally beat myself up about this. But I’m deciding not to. Because we set goals for ourselves, but the reality – especially as a parent – is that life happens and you have to be willing to adjust and change your goals. The bottom line is that I’m never going to reach a point in my life where I regret taking three whole days to do nothing but snuggle my sick baby boy with pneumonia. It was what I needed to do at the time.
So, I’m taking a page out of this season’s book and trusting that – when everyone is healthy and life is back on track – I’ll get back to the personal goals I’ve been working on: better self-care, consistent blogging, etc. We’re surrounded by signs of renewal and second chances right now, beautiful pastel eggs in every color of the rainbow, reminding us that just as cycles end, there is always new life and new opportunity. A bad day or a bad week on your personal journey is only that – a day or a week, not a death knell for whatever dream or goal you’re pursuing.
Happy Easter! My wish for all my sisters this Easter Sunday is that you are able to treat yourself with kindness and understanding and that as you look at your life, you are able to recognize all of the opportunities for fresh starts and beginnings. Big hugs to you all!